Within our own small communities, people who know you feel entitled over your life and choices because they witness you living your life but they don't contribute an iota of energy towards helping you or benefiting you in any way /AI ILLUSTRATION
The existence of know-it-all family members who believe they know more about your life than you do transcends the borders of culture, religion and nationalities. In every single family, there exists a particular woman or man (often an aunt or uncle) who is annoying as can be. They know better, they did better, their kids are better, your parents could have done better and so on.
Before coming home, I prepared myself mentally for the squareoffs I would be facing. I didn't question the chance that they would happen. I knew for a fact that they would. The question was how often they would happen and what would happen when you gave back exactly what you got.
I was ready with my responses: “You got fat.” “Yeah, I have a lot of money now.” “Why is your son like this?” “Your daughter can't stay married.” “When are you having another kid?” “When you finally buy me a gift.” I was ready!
Within our own small communities, people who know you feel entitled over your life and choices because they witness you living your life but they don't contribute an iota of energy towards helping you or benefiting you in any way.
You are single for too long; the questions of when you get married start. You are married for a year, and the questions of when you will have a baby start. You get fat, the criticisms begin. You have one kid, when will you have another? You have two girls, well you won't be happy till you have a boy.
These members of society feel emboldened to have opinions on other people's lives because of their own experiences or age. They somehow believe that the world would function better if people lived according to their choices, but will be quick to condemn even if their precious choices failed.
Since I live away and see family rarely, I knew they had saved up a good dose of their opinions for me. And they would have a field day since I would be staying home for a couple of months. What they didn't know is that last winter turned me cold.
I was away from my family when I lost my father and had to mourn him alone. I was home alone with my baby for most hours during the day. I did my house chores alone up until midnight. I had multiple health scares and two major surgeries. I wasn't in the mood for anyone's opinion.
This was going to be a turning point for me and a new beginning for them. Especially because I had always been the quiet one in my family. Lucky for them, it was as though the people around me sensed the changes in me and have been approaching me in a respectful manner.
But I stand on the ready, waiting for that little sideways comment to come to return it with a forceful backswing to where it came from. Match point!
