I came across a video on the Tuko podcast that made me realise we need divine intervention. Kenyan women are in the habit of creating a better life for themselves no matter the cost. A woman identified as Anne Muthoni was interviewed as she recounted her ordeal imprisoned in Saudi for having children out of wedlock.

She didn’t know it was a crime until she was put in handcuffs. I think we can unanimously agree that the big question is “How?” How does one not know that it is a crime to have children out of wedlock in an Islamic state? How does one not know it is a crime to have children with a Saudi national outside of marriage? How does one not know that Saudi Arabia is a kingdom that can make up its own rules and the whole world will not bat an eye? More importantly, we can ask how one goes to a country without knowing what the laws of said country are!

These questions might make me sound tone-deaf to the plight of Kenyan women in the Middle East, but I believe we need to hold women accountable where we can. Kenyan women have a tendency to want the easy way out. Ninety-nine per cent of that phrase means having children with foreigners so we can have an easier life of getting paid for having babies with (mostly) mzungus. Don’t get me wrong, I'm a big supporter of love beyond races, religion and the conformities bestowed by society. I am a Kenyan woman married to a foreign man myself.

But there is an unspoken practice among Kenyan women (and men) who decide to have children with foreigners as a means of securing their future. That translates to a lifetime of child support and milking that situation for any other benefits, including residencies abroad and obtaining other citizenships. Here’s a short story that testifies to the point…

It was a cold night in the winter of 2015, my friend Mimo* (not her real name) and I were shopping at the little convenience store near our university in Hamburg. We happened to speak Kiswahili and the woman behind us excitedly came over to introduce herself. By the second meet-up, we knew her life story. She had come on a tourist visa and was told by her relatives if she wanted to stay in Germany indefinitely, she needed to get pregnant by a German man. Which she did. She had a 30-day tourist stay and within that short time, had gotten pregnant and claimed asylum. Luckily for her, she had found one of those middle-aged men without children who complied with her staying as long as she stayed to care for his child. She was also lucky because it was a different time. The laws have long changed since then. Asylums will not be granted and people must enter and exit the country for each intended purpose.

Most of them are romanced by the idea of marrying a foreign man or having their child, getting child support payments and eventually moving to greener pastures abroad. They do all this without researching the person, the laws and the consequences their actions will have on them and their innocent children.

I have seen way too many stories that have continuously proven this narrative wrong. Having a child with a foreign man does not necessarily mean they will claim the child, nor make any child support payments. Secondly, not everyone who moves abroad finds greener pastures. Most of them find horrors and monsters hidden behind the pot of gold they envisioned. And lastly, bringing a child into the world should not be a money-making scheme. A child deserves to be born into this world by two loving parents who will care for it because they chose to have a baby together.