There are some things that men deeply wish for but keep to themselves. What I’ll share is not an exhaustive list, just a few things I have heard in my career as a sexologist.

I’m not going to talk about all men in the world and what they want from women; that’s impossible. I’ll just talk about a normal healthy relationship. It doesn’t need to be perfect, everybody’s got problems, but you care for each other, you want a good life together, and you want to know how to to give back to your man in sex.

1. GIVE BACK MORE

This does not apply in all relationships. There are many relationships that are not in that place, and in such cases, men do most of the giving. A healthy sexual relationship relies on mutual participation and active ‘giving back’. It empowers women by taking control of personal pleasure. It also enhances the emotional bond and physical health of both partners, and ensures mutual satisfaction.

2. INITIATE MORE

A woman initiating means so much to a man. It is one of the greatest wishes because it shows that you are interested and attracted to him. You love, and it shows that sex is important to you the same way it is important to him. It’s also an advantage to women because it helps them choose a good time that is right when they are in the mood. By taking the lead, women can directly communicate their desires, remove the performance pressure often placed on men, and cultivate a more balanced, mutually responsive and deeply connected intimate life.

3. BE INTO IT

Men want to know you are enjoying sex, you are in to the moment, Men don’t like it when women try to perform something correctly and they are stressed and anxious. They want you to relax. They want to connect with you and know you are enjoying his body, and feeling his touches. Men want women to enjoy sex because a pleasurable experience builds emotional connection, boosts mutual confidence and makes intimacy a shared, enthusiastic bond rather than a one-sided act.

4. REASSURE HIM

It is difficult for men to acknowledge they want validation, but you know they do want it. We all feel vulnerable and fragile in sex, so he needs reassurances from you that what he is doing feels good. It’s also important after sex to share how it was amazing. It’s something that a lot of women have completely monopolised as their issue. Men want to feel desired, sexy, to hear you saying that you love his body. Many men are insecure about their penis. It would go a long way for you to reassure him that you love how it feels and how it looks.

5. COMMUNICATE

Sharing how sex felt to you, what you liked in it but also guiding during sex and saying what feels good and asking him to adjust something will feel even better. I understand you may have a man who doesn’t want to communicate. In that case, the whole point becomes void, but with a man who does want to communicate, your reciprocation will mean so much to his experience. Men also love hearing a woman moaning. It acts as an immediate, positive validation.

6.BE A LITTLE LIGHTER

Show that you can do something for pure fun, or just have a good time. I usually don’t preach this gospel much because I’m currently pushing another kind of sex that is nourishing not just for fun and entertainment. It’s men’s wish, but it’s good to remind them that sex can be really powerful, reaching energy that can affect the quality of life and well-being.

I hope this helps you. See what you can do today, it will make him so happy. Just go ahead and enjoy each other.

Dagitari Waruinu is a sexologist

Contact: 0745506140

Social media handles: @Dagitariwaruinu