In Nairobi, parents and educators warn of rising same-sex relationships in boarding schools, saying the trend is growing more visible and complex among students nationwide.
Winfred (not her real name) noticed alarming changes in her 16-year-old daughter Cynthia (not her real name) after observing her behaviour and interactions at school.
One evening during a walk, Cynthia pointed out two girls passing by and remarked, “Those two are lesbians and in a relationship.”
Concerned about the environment her daughter was in, Winfred transferred her to a day school, where she could supervise her more closely.
She also sought counselling support for her daughter.
“Parents’ biggest task is to talk to their children and pray for them. The rest is up to them to make the right choices,” she said, reflecting the mixture of anxiety and responsibility many parents feel.
Ann Mukami (also not her real name) shared a similar experience with her niece, a quiet and introverted girl who began dressing like a tomboy and smoking weed after entering Form 2.
Mukami discovered sexual paraphernalia at home and observed that her niece was increasingly spending time with female friends.
“Her parents persuaded her to go to college, but she is hesitant,” she said, highlighting the personal and familial challenges that arise when children deviate from parental expectations.
Experts and former students point to systemic factors within boarding schools that make adolescents vulnerable to such behaviours.
Overcrowded dormitories, shared bathrooms and minimal supervision create environments where students may be coerced or influenced by peers.
One parent recounted her Grade 10 daughter being harassed by older students, pressured into same-sex interactions and having personal belongings stolen.
“Many Grade 10 students are traumatised and afraid to report these incidents,” she said, warning that parents often invest heavily in school fees and expect a safe learning environment.
Social media and technology have further amplified the situation.
Reports indicate that students use platforms like WhatsApp to coordinate same-sex relationships, sometimes even receiving money or incentives to participate.
“We must pray for our children and maintain open communication,” one concerned parent said.
Research supports these observations. A 2024 University of Nairobi study, ‘Lesbianism in Boarding Schools in Kenya’, found that peer influence is a primary driver of same-sex behaviour among learners. Consequences include stigma, social exclusion and poor academic performance.
A 2016 survey suggested that 52 per cent of students attributed such behaviours to sexual encounters in single-sex boarding schools, often taking place in isolated corners, bathrooms, study halls and dark spaces during weekends or leisure time.
The study also noted that teachers and administrators frequently either lack awareness or avoid taking action, sometimes expelling students without providing guidance or counselling.
Experts argue that punitive measures are ineffective and harmful.
Janet Ouko, CEO of the Elimu Yetu Coalition, said expulsions create stigma and secondary crises at home.
“Schools must adopt a rights-based approach that protects learners’ access to education,” she said, highlighting the need for clear policies and counselling frameworks to guide both students and educators.
Legal factors also exacerbate the issue. Christine Kahura, a lecturer at the Catholic University of Eastern Africa, said that Sections 162(a), (b), and 165 of the Penal Code criminalise same-sex relations, creating a hostile environment for learners perceived to be homosexual.
While the constitution guarantees equality and freedom from discrimination, sexual orientation is not explicitly listed as a protected ground, leaving LGBT(lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender)students vulnerable.
Kahura emphasised that exclusionary policies, such as barring students from boarding schools based on perceived sexual orientation, undermine the country’s obligation to ensure every child’s right to education.
From a psychological perspective, adolescence is a period of self-discovery, identity formation and exploration of sexuality.
Counselling psychologist Emma Ngunjiri explained that students may experience attraction to the opposite sex, same sex, or feel confused during this stage.
“Schools play a critical role alongside parents, guardians, religious institutions and society in supporting adolescents’ development,” she said.
She urged guidance and counselling departments to provide safe, age-appropriate and value-sensitive platforms for students to explore their feelings without fear of judgment or punishment.
“A supportive environment encourages responsible decision-making and strengthens mental wellbeing, helping adolescents develop into emotionally healthy and socially responsible adults,” she added.
While the discussion around same-sex relationships in schools remains controversial, experts agree that addressing the issue requires more than moral condemnation.
It calls for open dialogue, family engagement, clear school policies, legal protections and counselling support.
Only through a holistic approach can learners be safeguarded, while simultaneously ensuring their right to education and mental wellbeing is protected.
As technology and social attitudes continue to evolve, Kenyan schools, parents and policymakers face the challenge of balancing cultural norms, legal frameworks and the developmental needs of adolescents, while creating safe spaces where all learners can thrive.
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