Surprising Reason Dorcas Insisted on Paying for Their First Date with Gachagua

Pastor Dorcas Gachagua has shared a little-known story about the early days of her relationship with her husband, former Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua.

Speaking during an interview on TV47, she revealed that she paid for their very first dinner date — a deliberate decision she made to set the tone for the kind of partnership she wanted.

Why Dorcas Chose to Pay the First Bill

According to Dorcas, covering the cost of that first dinner was symbolic. She wanted to establish equality from the beginning and ensure the relationship would be built on mutual respect rather than traditional assumptions.

“When we met with Riggy G, I didn’t even allow him to pay for the first dinner. I paid for it,” she explained.

“I did it deliberately because I wanted a man who would see me as an equal partner. I also wanted to gauge if he could respect boundaries in that area, because many men believe they should be the ones doing the buying.”

She encouraged men and women to have open conversations about expectations in relationships, saying mutual understanding is essential for healthy unions.

On Her Son’s Relationship and Respect for Women

Dorcas also mentioned that one of her sons is dating a woman from a well-off background. While she did not go into detail, she used the moment to emphasise the importance of raising sons to respect women regardless of their background or status.

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She challenged parents to rethink how they speak about women in their homes, warning that subtle comments can shape how boys view women later in life.

“We need to change the way we speak,” she said. “When a son fails, the father might say, ‘You’re like your mother,’ as if being a woman means being inadequate. Even when they accuse girls of talking too much, they compare them to their sisters — again putting down women. These messages shape how boys treat women.”

According to her, respect is something learned — and it can also be unlearned when parents intentionally teach better habits.

Why Teaching Respect Starts at Home

Dorcas noted that many men grow up witnessing their fathers mistreat or demean their mothers, and those behaviours are eventually reproduced in adulthood. She urged parents to instil the right values in their sons early.

“Respect is learnt, and it can be unlearnt,” she emphasised. “Some men saw their fathers disrespect their mothers. That’s why we must start with parenting, so we build the right mindset in our boys.”

A Glimpse into Her Long Marriage

Dorcas, who has been married to Gachagua for over 35 years, also reflected on how she has maintained her marriage through practical acts of love and care.

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In a previous interview with The Standard in September 2022, she revealed that she still irons her husband’s clothes.

“For the last 35 years, I have been the one ironing my husband’s clothes,” she said at the time. “People don’t care whether I’m a pastor — they want to see me taking care of my man.”

She added that she enjoys cooking for her family, which includes their two sons, Keith and Kevin.