Kenyan chef Dennis Ombachi has turned the dreaded high school lunch into comedy. His son's verdict was not what he expected.
Ombachi, known as The Roaming Chef, posted a satirical Instagram reel. It recreates the burnt ugali and bitter sukuma wiki that defined boarding school meals for many Kenyans.
Episode one of a new series
Aiming squarely at Gen Z, Ombachi began his caption with a question: "Have you ever wondered why Millennials look younger than you?" The reel that followed was his tongue-in-cheek answer.
He then described the dish as "salted caramel Ugali served alongside fall of the bone Sukuma Wiki". The caption calls the video episode one of a mini-series. In it, he recreates "the meals that raised or traumatized us through high school".
He ended by asking followers which meal takes them back to their school days. He also asked whether they would go back for it.
Cooking the school way
The Video follows a mock-serious tutorial, filmed on a high-rise balcony above a city skyline. Ombachi chops the sukuma wiki roughly. He drops it into a hot pot and lets the bottom layer scorch.
He calls the result an "authentic smoky vegan barbecue flavor".
"Wash, cook and clean at the same time, in the same pot, using the same water."
The ugali fares no better. Maize meal goes into boiling water and is stirred hard. The aim, he says, is to overcook and undercook it at once. He calls this "a culinary contradiction perfected by high school chefs".
A parenting plan that backfired
Ombachi said there was a family motive. His son had been asking to go to boarding school.
The video was meant as a warning. He described it as "transferring generational trauma, hoping fear succeeds where parenting failed".
It did not work. His son tried the dish at the end and said it was actually good.
He then took a swipe at his father's generation.
"You millennials, you don't look young because of the food you ate. You are just malnourished and stopped growing."
Viewers relive their own school days
The comments filled with memories of school kitchens.
One user, @just_ivy_africa_, wrote that the ugali line left them "triggered". Another, @i_amkabugi, said the scorched top layer was "still the deal".
@djkrowbar summed it up in one word: "Trauma."
@sir_homes suggested Ombachi should boil githeri next, with "a pinch of weevils for that extra protein".
