Kenyan social personality Nicah Njenga has sparked a conversation online after uploading a video to her Instagram stories containing blunt relationship advice for women. In the video, she strongly urged her female audience to stop entering romantic relationships with financially unstable men, arguing that there are no benefits to doing so.
"Hakuna reward ya kuvumilia mwanaume, hakuna reward ya kuvumilia mwanaume mwenye hana pesa,” she begins.
Speaking directly into the camera, she emphasised that women who stick around out of a sense of loyalty are gaining nothing. She questioned the rationale of staying with a partner who lacks money, warning her viewers that such endurance yields zero long-term appreciation or security.
Challenging the 'Understanding Girlfriend' Trope
Nicah reserved her sharpest criticism for women who proudly take on the role of the highly accommodating and tolerant partner, commonly known as an understanding girlfriend. She expressed visible frustration with women who choose to endure financial hardships during the dating phase in the hopes of a future payoff.
"Nyinyi ma-girlfriend understanding, mna-understand mna-understand... nakuangalianga hivi nashindwa kama uko na akili."
She questioned the logic behind this mindset, pointing out that women are sacrificing their peace of mind without any guarantee of marriage.
Furthermore, she stated that even if such relationships do eventually progress to marriage, there is still no reward waiting for the woman who chooses to suffer through the initial financial struggles.
Redefining the "Gold Digger" Label
In a notable twist during her monologue, Nicah flipped the popular societal narrative regarding financial opportunism in relationships. She argued that men who offer nothing financially while enjoying the company of attractive women are the actual opportunists.
"Men are the real gold diggers out here. They are going to use your beauty, your nyash, everything, and won't do anything for you."
She highlighted a scenario where a woman might spend four, five, or eight months dating someone who has never flown her out, bought her a car, or even bought her flowers.
She also pointed out that such men fail to provide a basic "girlfriend allowance." Nicah expressed astonishment at women who choose to spend their time with men who want to associate with a "bad bitch" but offer absolutely no financial reciprocity.
A Call for Financial Stability
Nicah concluded her story by giving what she termed "little sister advice" regarding the standards women should set when choosing romantic partners. She urged women to protect themselves from emotional and physical drain by walking away from relationships that do not add value to their lives.
"Date a stable man who is a generous provider. If he is not adding to your life, he is taking."
She questioned why a woman who is already working hard and independent should allow herself to be drained by a partner who cannot support her. Her final piece of advice to women was clear: there is no prize for enduring poverty with a man, and women should actively seek out partners who have money.
