As Kenya celebrates Mother’s Day weekend, legendary singer Wahu Kagwi has shared rare insights into her three-decade-long journey with fellow artist Nameless.
Speaking on the latest episode of the Feast with Friends podcast with Nick Kwach, Wahu reflected on a relationship that began in university and evolved into a 21-year marriage.
The "Sweet Love" hitmaker, who has spent 25 years in the limelight, described her journey not as a calculated plan, but as a crazy adventure.
The Secret to Longevity: Interdependence
One of Wahu’s core lessons from 30 years together is the distinction between dependence and what she calls interdependence. She warns against losing one's individual identity within a partnership.
“There's a lot of things that I could say I experienced as a child that showed up in my relationship and then forced me to deal with whatever baggage... so that's one of the key things I've learned that number one first there's you. Yes, right, always don't get lost in in this.I usually tell people coming into a marriage just remember who you are.”
She views marriage as a partnership where two flawed individuals leverage each other’s strengths rather than fighting for power.
“I say before there's a marriage or a relationship with an individual there are two individuals. And it's very important to recognize that these are two individuals who are flawedwho have aspirations who have dreams who have issues who have their own upbringing coming together to try and make a relationship work,” she added.
“So there's independence co-dependenceand interdependence.”
The Early Years: From Catwalks to Campus Love
Wahu and Nameless met while students at the University of Nairobi. Before her music career took off, Wahu worked as a model. She recalled her husband’s early support, including a moment he ran to her hostel to fetch forgotten shoes just in time for a competition.
However, the transition to marriage brought unexpected societal weight. As a young bride, Wahu felt a distinct pressure to be a culinary expert to ensure her husband "added weight"—a cultural marker of a well-cared-for man.
"I never really enjoyed cooking food... then all of a sudden I'm feeling this pressure. Now I have to be a cook."
The pressure dissipated when she realised Nameless was not a "foodie" and did not expect her to spend her afternoons over cookery books. She noted that his lack of demands "set me free."
Parenting Three Generations
Wahu is now a mother of three daughters: Tumiso (20), Nyakio (13), and Shiru (3). Parenting across different generations has forced her to evolve. She admits she is a vastly different mother to her youngest than she was to her eldest.
While her early parenting years were marked by a need to prove she could "do it all," she describes her current phase as "calmer, more confident, and less concerned about public opinion."
Wahu remains a work in progress, telling Kwach that she no longer strives for perfection. Instead, she focuses on being an authentic standard for her girls, showing them how to problem-solve and handle life’s ups and downs with grace.
