Muthoni Mukiri: Why Women Should Date Standards Over Emotions

Kenyan counsellor and mindset coach Muthoni Mukiri has sparked conversations online after sharing relationship advice on TikTok, encouraging women to raise their standards and be intentional about the partners they choose.

In the widely circulated clip, Mukiri told women that the bare minimum in a relationship should include simple gestures such as going on dates and putting effort into spending quality time together. According to her, these are basic indicators that someone is genuinely interested in building a meaningful connection.

Mukiri also encouraged women to pay attention to whether a potential partner’s lifestyle aligns with theirs when getting to know someone.

“If you are a babe who loves going out, who loves travelling, the nice lifestyle, please be with someone who’s also about those things,” she advised.

Lifestyle Compatibility Matters in Dating

According to Mukiri, many relationships struggle because partners ignore clear lifestyle differences during the early stages of dating.

She explained that when two people have completely different preferences — such as one partner enjoying travel, social outings, and experiences while the other prefers a quieter or more reserved lifestyle — the mismatch can eventually lead to tension. ALSO READ: Your soulmate is not someone else's husband - Muthoni wa Mukiri

Some of the lifestyle factors she encouraged women to consider include:

Social lifestyle and how often someone enjoys going out
Attitudes toward travel and experiences
Financial habits and expectations
Shared values about leisure and personal growth

Mukiri believes identifying these differences early can help people avoid disappointment later in relationships.

“Date Your Standards First”

One of the strongest messages from her talk was the importance of choosing partners based on personal standards rather than emotions alone.

“Date your standards and let your emotions catch up,” Mukiri said.

The counsellor explained that many people allow emotions to lead their decisions too early, only to later realise the relationship does not align with their expectations or values.

By prioritising standards such as respect, compatibility, and shared lifestyle goals, Mukiri says individuals are more likely to build healthier and more fulfilling relationships.