Every scar has a story. “Letter to My Younger Self” invites you into the reflective hearts of people who've walked winding roads—offering gentle truths, bold lessons, and encouragement for anyone still figuring it out. These weekly letters are full of grace and grit, showing how setbacks shape wisdom and how the past still holds power to teach. From nurturing curiosity to embracing mentorship, each piece is a tribute to growth through lived experience.
Mactilda Makana, an accounts manager, pens this week’s heartfelt Letter to My Younger Self.
Dear Younger Self,
Some of life’s hardest lessons come wrapped in pain we never expected. But if you survive, if you keep faith, the broken pieces can become a mosaic of purpose, love and blessing.
Born with a Heart for More You were born in Kabuchai Subcounty in Bungoma county, a 39 years old girl now with dreams bigger than your surroundings and a heart that overflowed with love. From the beginning, you were destined to care not just for yourself, but for others & to be a light in places where darkness lingered.
The Depth of Loss Life tested you from early on. You entered marriage hoping for children, for a family, for joy. But fate was harsh. Five children were taken from you through miscarriages, stillbirths, and one who passed away just a day after being born. And in 2010, the marriage ended in divorce, leaving you questioning if the world or even God had abandoned you.
BUT:"Every tear you cried was shaping you into someone stronger, someone who could love beyond limits."
Love and the Gift of Twins In 2017, you allowed yourself to love again. God blessed you in 2020 with twin girls, a living reminder that hope can rise from heartbreak. But even this joy came with challenges: the man you loved could not understand your God-given ministry. So, you returned fully to your calling, embracing the mission of nurturing your children and the thirty others who call you “mother.
The Children Who Taught You Resilience Your heart has known extraordinary love and extraordinary grief. In 2021, you lost two orphans, Sioya and Merlin, siblings who suffered from rheumatic heart disease. You did all you could, but the funds for the life-saving surgery weren’t there. Their absence left a hole in your heart you will never forget. But I thank a Foundation, I applied for some support from them but unfortunately the approvals for the funds were done when the two had already died.
Then, in 2022, there was Amos, a boy from Tongaren Subcounty, Bungoma County, born with epilepsy. His family couldn’t afford medication, and by the time he came under your care, his body was already worn out. You took him to the hospital, held hope in your hands but after six days of admission, he passed away. These losses were unbearable, yet they shaped the compassion, patience, and fierce determination that now define you.
I believe that: "Sometimes loving well doesn’t mean saving every life but it always leaves a legacy of hope."
Finding Purpose in Pain Even in despair, God never left you. You found solace in serving others, opening your home to orphans and vulnerable children, following the calling described in James 1:27: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” Every child you welcomed reminded you that your purpose was bigger than your loss.
Balancing Career and Calling You have built a life of purpose. As an accounts manager at Royal Media Services, you balance numbers and deadlines by day, and laughter, learning, and life lessons by night. Through the Double Blessings Foundation, you give vulnerable children a safe home, widows and widowers a chance to heal, and hope to those who have none.
Remember,"You can’t always save everyone but you can always love fully."
Lessons and Hindsight If time could turn back, perhaps you would have waited a little longer before opening your heart again, to protect your calling more fiercely, or to plan for the unimaginable costs of healthcare for children in need. Yet loving again was not a mistake—it brought blessings, joy, and the gift of your twin girls. Every tear, every heartbreak, and every challenge taught you resilience, courage, and the profound beauty of serving others selflessly, shaping you into the woman you are today.
Advice to Young Mactilda
1. Trust God’s Timing Above All
You don’t have to rush life or love. Every blessing comes in its perfect time. Some doors close so better ones can open. Trust that God sees the bigger picture, even when your heart aches.
2. Protect Your Calling Relentlessly
Your ministry to vulnerable children is sacred. Learn early to set boundaries with people and situations that don’t honor or understand your purpose. Your mission is not negotiable—it is your gift to the world.
3. Self-Care is Not Selfish
Caring for so many children can drain you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Remember to rest, reflect, and recharge. A strong mother, mentor, and leader is a sustainable one.
4. Celebrate Every Small Victory
Even the tiniest smile, the smallest progress, the smallest act of love from a child is a victory. Life isn’t only about monumental achievements—it’s about these daily blessings that build the bigger picture.
5. Embrace Vulnerability, But Be Wise
Loving again brought blessings, like your twin girls. But always listen to your intuition and guard your heart. True love uplifts, respects your purpose, and shares your vision—it never diminishes your calling.
6. Don’t Fear Loss—Learn from It
You will experience grief and heartbreak, like with Sioya, Merlin, and Amos. These moments teach empathy, patience, and resilience. Allow yourself to feel, grieve, and grow—your scars tell the story of strength and love.
7. Every Life You Touch Matters
Even if you cannot save everyone, every act of kindness, every meal, every word of encouragement matters. Your legacy isn’t measured only in numbers—it’s in love multiplied through every child, widow, and family you care for.
8. Plan, But Don’t Lose Faith
Practicality matters—learn to plan for the unexpected, especially in health and finances. Yet, never let planning replace faith. God’s miracles often exceed what we can imagine.
9. Celebrate Your Own Growth
Look at how far you’ve come—from a young woman in Bungoma facing unimaginable loss to the mother, mentor, and founder of Double Blessings Foundation. Always honor your journey and the person you are becoming
10. Strength in Scars
Life is never easy. There will be storms that seem impossible to weather and losses that shake your very soul. Yet your scars are proof of survival, proof that love can extend beyond pain, proof that God’s plan is always unfolding even when you cannot see it.
11. A Legacy of Blessings
Keep your faith, your heart, and your mission intact. Continue being a blessing because the world needs the light only you can shine. One day, when you look around at the children whose lives you’ve touched and the legacy you’ve built, you will see that every heartbreak, every tear, every sleepless night was worth it.
With love, hope, and unshakable pride,
Everyone has a story worth sharing. If you’ve ever wished you could talk to your younger self—with wisdom, forgiveness, or clarity—we invite you to write to us. Your real, heartfelt letter might just be the encouragement someone else needs today. You may remain anonymous if preferred, but your truth matters. We don’t pay contributors, but we believe in the power of shared experience. Join us in building a collection of life’s hard-earned lessons and gentle reminders.
Be part of this movement. Send your Letter to My Younger Self to: [email protected]
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