How to Know You’re Struggling with Grief and What to Do About It

Grief is one of the most human emotions, yet it’s also one of the hardest to talk about. Following the death of Raila Odinga, Kenya has been united in mourning.

The loss of a national icon has reminded us that grief is both personal and collective it can touch a nation’s soul and an individual’s heart at the same time.

But even as the tributes continue, many people are struggling silently. Grief can sneak up on you in quiet moments, in unexpected tears, or in a heaviness that just won’t lift. Understanding the signs of emotional struggle is the first step toward healing.

Here’s how to know when grief is becoming too heavy to carry alone and what you can do to find relief.

1. When Sadness Feels Endless

It’s natural to feel waves of sadness after loss, but when those waves turn into a storm that never settles, it may be a sign you need help. If you wake up feeling hopeless, cry often, or struggle to find joy in anything, it’s okay to admit you’re not coping well. That’s not weakness,  it’s honesty.

2. When Your Body Feels the Pain Too

Grief isn’t just emotional, it can be physical. You might feel tired even after sleeping, lose your appetite, or experience body aches and tension. Sometimes your body carries the grief your heart can’t express. Pay attention to those signals; they’re your body’s way of asking for gentleness and rest.

3. When You Start to Withdraw

It’s normal to want some alone time, but isolation can make grief worse. If you find yourself avoiding calls, skipping social events, or pushing away people who care, try to take small steps back toward connection. Sometimes a simple conversation or shared meal can begin to lift the weight.

4. When You Use Distractions to Escape

Many people try to numb their pain — through overworking, scrolling endlessly, overeating, or even alcohol. These coping habits may bring temporary relief, but they can’t heal what you’re avoiding. Facing the pain, even slowly, is what truly leads to healing.

5. When Memories Hurt More Than They Heal

Grief should gradually shift from unbearable pain to quiet remembrance. If every reminder of your loss still feels raw months later, that’s a sign you may need extra support. Speaking to a grief counselor or joining a support group can help you process those emotions safely.

What You Can Do Right Now

Talk about it.

Sharing your thoughts with someone you trust can ease the loneliness of grief.

Create a ritual.

Light a candle, say a prayer, write a letter, these small acts can bring peace.

Be kind to yourself.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days will hurt more than others, and that’s okay.

Seek help.

If your sadness feels unbearable or unending, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor or mental health professional.

Grief is something you learn to live with, gently and gradually. In time, the pain softens, and the memories begin to bring comfort instead of sorrow.

As Kenya grieves the loss of a beloved leader, remember: it’s okay to feel broken, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to ask for help. Grief is not the end,  it’s the beginning of healing.