In today’s evolving world of relationships, love no longer fits neatly into one box — and neither does the idea of a “wife material” woman. While some men still cherish the traditional traits associated with such women, their preference is no longer the universal standard.
For others, the societal ideal of a homely, reserved partner feels too safe, even boring. These men are more drawn to women who defy the conventional mold, those who live boldly and aren’t necessarily seeking to fit into anyone’s domestic expectations.
Immediately after graduating, Jason Munga, currently single, was finally ready to dip his toes in dating. Being young, Munga knew little about his preferences and when the first attractive woman came along, he pulled all the stops to pursue her.
Initially, Munga thought that making her his girlfriend would be a walk in the park. Though soft spoken, this woman had strict boundaries that she did not lift for just anyone.
After chasing her for four months, she finally gave in and agreed to be Munga’s girlfriend. From the onset of their relationship, Munga realised that the thrill he had chased was quickly simmering down.
When they moved in together, Munga got the full picture of who his girlfriend was. Naively, Munga had assumed that since she was attractive, his girlfriend would be among the ‘Nairobi baddies’.
Being extroverted, Munga thought that his girlfriend would always accompany him to the many parties he went to.
However, much to his dismay, his girlfriend preferred to stay in the house. The definition of fun for his girlfriend was knitting sweaters and learning cooking recipes from TikTok.
Driven by guilt of finding fault in such a good woman, Munga tried to bury his feelings and continue dating her.
“What ultimately led to our breakup was when I blurted out during one argument that she was a boring partner- staying together after that was out of the question,” Munga explains.
When Bobby Maraga, currently married, turned forty while still single, his family began calling him insistently, asking when he was planning to marry. His mother, in particular, went as far as claiming that the ‘promiscuous culture’ in Nairobi had spoiled Maraga.
Unbeknownst to his family, Maraga was more than comfortable with continuing to have random romantic encounters that did not tie him down to any woman.
Maraga recounts one particular family gathering where his mother forced him to make conversation with one of his female childhood friends. This woman was the epitome of what his mother considered the perfect woman.
Always adorned in long and loose dresses, frequent church goer, agreeable personality- she was the wife material woman that his family wanted him to marry. However, though attractive, this was the kind of woman that Maraga dreaded spending forever with in marriage.
Even more headstrong about not marrying after that family gathering, a woman came out of the blue and rocked his world in the best way possible. Meeting this woman at an intimate live concert, Maraga assumed that she would be one of his many romantic escapades.
However, after having some conversations with her, Maraga instantly felt a spark and set out to keep her in his life. Being the epitome of a true ‘Nairobi baddie’, this was the kind of woman who could convince Maraga to consider marriage.
“My family rained fire and brimstone when I took her home, but after three years of a blissful marriage, I am happy that I made a decision that was right for me,” Maraga states.
In the same breath, some Kenyan men would go above and beyond to have a wife material woman in their lives. Sharing with The Star, Moses Githara, recently single, regrets deviating from his preference for a wife material woman.
Being a fanatic of plays, Githara had the habit of going to the Kenya National Theatre on most Friday evenings just to check out new plays. On one particular Friday, the female protagonist singled out Githara out of the audience for an interactive dance performance.
Completely in awe, Githara immediately fell in love with her. After a month of pursuing her, she finally agreed to be his girlfriend.
However, within the first week of dating, it dawned on Githara how different she was compared to the previous girls he had dated. For instance, what brought her fulfilment was constantly going out with her friends, weekdays included.
The most surprising revelation for Githara was, however, when his girlfriend revealed that she was open about her sexuality. From her explanation, after Githara prodded further, she explained that she did not personally believe in having one sexual partner.
Though completely thrown for a loop, Githara was still willing to continue the relationship because of his deep love.
“What broke the camel’s back was when she revealed to me one evening that she would never want to get married- that was it for me.” Githara voices.
For Harrison Ngagi, recently married, his mother’s sudden demise was a rude awakening that pushed him to get more intentional with his romantic life.
Bringing grandchildren to his mother had always been a milestone that he set for himself. However, with her gone, Ngagi vowed to make his mother proud by marrying a woman who was right for him.
Being in the middle of a chaotic journey of climbing the career ladder, Ngagi knew that he wanted a woman who would be his peace. Though having no vendetta against the ‘Nairobi baddies’, Ngagi felt like he needed a woman who was ready to settle down and was, in a sense, the wife material.
He desired a woman who would consistently be there for him by creating a safe space where he could let go of the hard exterior that he fronted to the world.
His mother’s death had prompted him to get more involved in church activities. Completely oblivious, Ngagi did not realise that love would come knocking unexpectedly in this environment.
For several Sundays, Ngagi had noticed one of the youth group leaders at his church. Whether it was because she was attractive or her warm demeanour to everyone, Ngagi knew that he was slowly falling head over heels.
After several weeks of being too shy to approach her, Ngagi finally decided to bite the bullet and ask her out on a date. What began as a dinner date blossomed into a beautiful love story.
She ticked all his boxes, and after three years of dating, they tied the knot. While saying his vows, Ngagi could not help but break down because of how lucky he felt to have found the woman God specifically tailored for him.
“Though I know the wife material woman is not everyone’s cup of tea, still going strong after seven years in marriage is a true testament to the fact that I made the right choice.” Ngagi emphasizes.
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