Veteran Kenyan songstress Sanaipei Tande recently offered a refreshing perspective on love and partnerships, challenging common societal norms during a candid conversation on Dr. Ofweneke’s popular "Lessons @30" podcast.
Beyond Monetary: Redefining 50/50 Relationships
Addressing the widely debated "50/50 module" in relationships, Sanaipei Tande dismissed the notion that it solely revolves around finances.
"When people say 50/50, they're talking finances, they're talking money," she observed.
Instead, Tande argued that contributions are already balanced in numerous other ways.
She highlighted a woman's unpaid labour, stating, "It's already 50/50 in very many different ways. The things that I do for you at the house, you know, taking care of the kids, making sure they go to school, you have your lunch, I've done the shopping, that's already it's already split".
She emphasized that each couple must find its own equilibrium.
"It's very unfair for me to sit here and say that every woman should do it like me. It's really about you finding the balance in your own relationship".
ALSO READ: Why Sanaipei Tande Is Not on Tiktok & Why She Didn’t Want Instagram At First
Tande also expressed surprise at the concept of "girlfriend allowance," simply stating, "That sounds like a joke. An allowance?". She maintained her personal stance, saying, "I'm not from that school of thought".
Money Matters: Her Personal Experience
Sanaipei Tande openly discussed her past dating life, revealing she has dated individuals who were not financially on par with her.
She recalled an instance where she dated someone who "didn't even have a car, and I had a car".
When questioned if she would drive him, she responded, "Yeah. Why not? What's wrong with that?". For Tande, money is not a primary factor in choosing a partner. "Why do I want your money? See, I've got mine".
She clarified that her eloquence and perceived expensive aura, which some comment on online, stem from her upbringing. "My dad did well. My mom did well," she stated, explaining that her parents provided a conducive environment for growth and learning, fostering interactions with people from all walks of life.
Family Values and Authentic Connection
Beyond financial aspects, Tande stressed the importance of core values in a relationship.
Her father's advice profoundly influenced her: "Be very careful about the family that you marry into because if they don't share the same family values as you, you are going to clash. That is the number one thing that I look at, family values".
She also debunked common relationship myths, stating she does not believe "opposites attract". Instead, she seeks genuine connection, shared interests, humour, and common goals.
Tande also touched upon the notion of marriage, asserting that it is "not the ultimate goal in life" for everyone.
She maintained that a relationship's validity does not depend on public visibility: "Just because I don't share it doesn't mean it hasn't happened. It doesn't have to be in the public eye for it to be true".
Ultimately, Dr. Ofweneke summarised Tande’s overall philosophy on life and relationships: "Just be yourself. And I think every question she's been answering has been based on I don't care what the world thinks".
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