Baby showers have steadily grown in popularity in Kenya over recent years.
Only now, the extravagance of these baby showers is reaching previously unfathomable levels.
The small gatherings in the house of the mother-to-be have now shifted to multitudes of people in expensive restaurants and event gardens.
Typically, the simple food that was prepared by anyone competent enough to be in the kitchen has been replaced by delectable chef-tailored buffets.
Even more eminent is the need to post pictures from the baby showers on various social media platforms like Instagram. This contradicts the intimacy of most baby showers in previous years.
Speaking to The Star, Dinah Wamotho details the surreal feeling that she had at her baby shower.
When Wamotho was 13 years old, her mother took her to a baby shower of a family friend. Unbeknownst to her, this event would become a core memory for her.
Every guest being at the beck and call of the mother-to-be, bellowing laughter and people chatting animatedly- this felt like paradise for Wamotho. In that moment, Wamotho vowed to have the same experience in her adulthood.
Before Wamotho was expectant with her first child, everyone in her life knew how important baby showers were to her.
Consequently, two months before Wamotho gave birth, her friend group, in collaboration with her family, planned for her baby shower.
Unlike other baby showers where those planning make decisions on a whim, Wamotho’s baby shower stood out in that sense.
Wamotho gave the chief planner of the baby shower a folder with all the details that she wanted executed to the letter in her baby shower.
Having a ‘type A personality’, Wamotho, in her folder, expounded on details like the suppliers to contact and venue, down to the most trivial details like the kind of salads in the buffet.
“If I could describe the most perfect baby shower, then it would be mine. I am eternally grateful for my inner circle putting up with my absurd demands without so much as a disgruntled complaint. I was truly insufferable at that time!” Wamotho excitedly states.
The pregnancy journey for Leah Mueni was tumultuous. When Mueni realised that she was pregnant after five years of failed attempts, she truly believed that her life was beginning to perfectly align.
Mueni’s husband was also over the moon because for the past five years, he had had the front seat to Mueni’s spark progressively dwindling. Assuming that the biggest hurdle was in their rearview was a mistake on their part.
From the onset of her pregnancy, Mueni’s health deteriorated.
Even morning sickness, which is experienced by a lot of pregnant women, manifested in tenfold for Mueni.
Any sight or smell of food would send Mueni in a vicious cycle of barely her holding her body up as she violently puked in the sink.
As if not torturous enough, being pregnant at 35 years did not particularly alleviate her suffering.
Her diabetes that began at 30 years of age did not spare her by forcing her to make the hospital her second home.
Seeing how beat down she was, Mueni’s husband decided to do something meaningful to lift her spirits.
Seeking help from their friend group and Mueni’s family, her husband managed to organise a beautiful baby shower, just in the nick of time, three days before Mueni gave birth to their son.
“My husband knew exactly what I needed. He knew that my fragile state could only handle a small, intimate baby shower. I also need to give credit to our friend group. Can you imagine those guys bought us a year's supply of diapers?” Mueni recounts sentimentally,
However, as celebratory as baby showers seem, some Kenyans feel like the value has been watered down to obligation.
These Kenyans believe that baby showers are no longer done out of goodwill but rather coercion by society to be seen as 'supportive' to the mother-to-be.
One such Kenyan is Abigail Akinyi, who adamantly refuses to be forced on the hype train for baby showers.
Two years after graduating from campus, Akinyi noted that many of her classmates were either new moms or expecting a child.
However, what appalled Akinyi was these classmates assuming that she wanted to contribute to their baby showers.
On many mornings, Akinyi would wake up to being in countless WhatsApp groups where she would be spammed by messages demanding her contributions.
“The sheer audacity of people! What threw me for a loop was when people who I rarely talked to would take offense when I ghosted their contribution demands. I can barely keep the lights on in my house, and someone expects me to cater to their baby shower needs at the drop of a hat?” Akinyi grimaces.
Talking to The Star, William Odero shares how he is indifferent to baby showers. Odero believes that baby showers can only be relatable to women rather than men.
Further expounding on this, Odero explains that women being more sentimental in comparison with men makes it easier for women to be more interested in baby showers.
Last year, Odero was invited to a co-ed baby shower by her best friend who was eight months pregnant at the time.
Odero’s best friend already knew of his pessimism for baby showers. However, after insistent pleading and a dash of guilt tripping, Odero finally folded and agreed to attend the baby shower.
“That was the most awkward event I have ever attended. As soon as I got to the venue, I immediately wanted to call back the boda guy to take me home.
"The worst part was that, being the best friend of the mother-to-be, I was forced to be by her side in the limelight. I resorted to absent-mindedly nodding and doing my best to make my robotic smile seem more genuine,” Odero says.
In spite of society’s expectations, Sammy Murwera is one of the few Kenyan men who support baby showers.
Whether it is because he grew up surrounded by four sisters or his friend group being mostly women, Murwera cannot count the number of times he attended baby showers.
For Murwera, baby showers are, at the core, events that celebrate the mother-to-be. According to Murwera, any person who believes that men who attend baby showers have a fragile masculinity is seriously hoodwinked.
“When my wife was expectant with our first child, I was in fact the perfectionist who went through every detail of the baby shower with a fine-tooth comb," Murwera comically details.
"Choosing not to be in the background of my wife’s baby shower did not make me less of a man. Rather, it made a better partner for my wife and present father to our unborn daughter.”
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