The end of the July cold season is steadily approaching as the occasional sun attempts to warm up the chilled bones of Nairobi residents. While some Nairobi residents have emerged from this cold season unscathed, others cannot say the same.
Persistent colds, newfound love for hot coffee and shopping sprees for sweaters and weighted blankets are some of the new things that have come with this chilly season- just to mention a few.
However, in the midst of these Nairobi residents is a group of people who decided to change their romantic life impulsively. These people have reverted back to their exes.
Last December, Talia Wambui vowed to cut off her ex-boyfriend, for real this time. She promised herself that she would not be tempted to pick a random call from him at odd hours of the night, asking her to come back.
Her ex-boyfriend pleading for forgiveness was the tune to a song she had danced to for two years in vain. Just when she would think that her ex-boyfriend had changed, his constant infidelity would reel her back to reality.
However, on one cold night this July, Wambui folded to his antics.
That particular night, Wambui’s ex-boyfriend seemed hell-bent on making sure that Wambui picked up the phone.
Annoyed by the constant calls interrupting her Netflix episodes, she decided to pick up just to brush him off.
Wambui grimaces, “What I thought would be me warning him sternly to lose my number ended up with me moving back to his house that same week. Any woman called mamaa in a deep, sultry voice would fold, and I am no exception.”
Sharing with The Star, Frank Mugambi recounts the events that led up to him reconnecting with his ex-girlfriend. On one of the boys’ weekend escapades this month to Naivasha, Mugambi had one simple plan in mind- unwinding from the city’s hustle culture.
As they hopped from club to club, Mugambi happened to see the silhouette of a woman who felt familiar. On a closer look, Mugambi could not believe his eyes. Initially, he thought that his tipsy state was playing mind games with him.
However, when the woman ran towards him shouting his name excitedly, Mugambi was assertive that the woman was his ex-girlfriend.
The last time Mugambi had seen his ex-girlfriend was at his graduation.
The many unknowns clouding the life after campus scared him and it was then that he decided to break up with her. In his mind, he reasoned that he was setting her free, especially because she still had a year left of studying in campus.
Their breakup was, however, not mutual because despite Mugambi’s elaborate ruse, the ex-girlfriend did not see his decision as noble but rather as a spineless one.
Mugambi details, “I knew that reconnecting with her would have been explosive. However, just as explosive our love could be, I know first-hand how earth-shattering our breakup could be. That said, we are still going strong, so fingers crossed.”
For Sharon Bosibori, her decision to reconnect with her ex-boyfriend is one that she still rues to date.
The tough economy had not favoured Bosibori in any way whatsoever. Losing her corporate job hit her harder than she thought possible, and her mental state plummeted.
However, at the end of the day, bills like rent and food still had to be paid, and Bosibori had no other alternative but to shelve her deteriorating mental state in a corner somewhere in her brain.
One evening three weeks ago, Bosibori was robotically chopping sukuma wiki in her small stall when she received an unexpected customer.
Even before she looked at him, Bosibori knew that the customer was her ex-boyfriend. She could tell it was him from a distance just by his distinct scent.
At first, Bosibori was embarrassed by her ex-boyfriend seeing her tragic fall from grace. However, the ex-boyfriend picked up the conversation with her as if nothing was amiss.
Whether it was because it was the first time that Bosibori felt like a normal human being or the delusion that the universe was bringing them together, Bosibori got back with her ex-boyfriend.
Moreover, moving in with him at a time when she could not see the light at the end of the tunnel financially was a bonus. What could go wrong? Only nearly everything.
Bosibori painfully recounts, “Things shifted in the blink of an eye after I moved in with him. His charisma was instantly replaced by unprovoked anger that he took out on me just because I helplessly relied on him. I can’t believe that it just took a week for me to be in the statistics of women who have faced gender based violence.”
Talking to The Star, William Kiprotich, a relationship expert, urges that Nairobi residents should exercise extra caution when making the decision to go back to an ex.
Kiprotich insists that the cold season should not be the fuel driving such reconnections.
After the cold season passes, such couples will most likely find themselves stuck in a cycle of relationship hiatus that is not healthy.
Kiprotich affirms, “There is no shame in reminiscing about the good old times you had with your ex. However, before you impulsively dial his or her phone number on a random Tuesday because of the cold weather making you nostalgic, take time to do an internal retrospection.
"Am I willing to go back to a situation that did not sit well with me the first time? The misconception that you can change someone should be completely renounced. Do not be deluded that you can change the same ex who previously brought you to the brink of crashing out emotionally. Even as the end of this cold season approaches, remember, don’t let your impulsive reaction betray your intelligence.” Kiprotich says.
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