In the bloom of youth: Exploring the magic and challenges of young love

Putting up a tough exterior as a front, many Kenyans go through their day happy to be single. They claim to be alone but not lonely.

They act like the Grinch when it comes to love—cringing and acting annoyed at any sight of romance.

In fact, you might find some of them lurking in the comment sections of social media pages of adorable couples, firing comments like "mtaachana tu."

However, even for this group of pessimistic Kenyans, there was a point in their lives when they truly desired love.

A love that knew no bounds and could stand the test of time. A romantic partner who would add colour to their lives—and they would ride off together into the sunset.

For most Kenyans who are romantics at heart, the desire for true love began in adolescence. If, as a young girl, you had a boyfriend, you were seen as the luckiest girl in the world.

Without even knowing the true meaning of a relationship, your friends would gush about your budding romance.

Speaking to The Star, Emily Wanjiru explains how she first started dating her boyfriend, who later became her husband. In Class Six, Wanjiru had a nemesis, Chris Muiru.

As the brightest girl in her class, Wanjiru found herself in academic competition with Muiru. This rivalry sometimes became personal because both were naturally competitive.

Despite her academic excellence, Wanjiru was always seen as the weird, nerdy kid by the popular girls. They disliked her, especially because she refused to conform or flatter them. Wanjiru was blunt and honest with the popular girls, regardless of the consequences.

One day, Wanjiru saw the clique bullying a new student. Furious, she confronted them and condemned their actions. Angered, the popular girls began to gang up on her and threatened to beat her up.

At the last minute, Muiru stepped in, threatening to report them to the principal. As expected, Wanjiru told Muiru she never needed his help and had been managing just fine before he swooped in to play the hero.

Wanjiru recounts, “We maintained our frenemy interactions until we completed primary school. I thought to myself, good riddance—I was never going to see him again.

The universe, however, has its own way of working things out. In my final year of high school, I met him again at a music festival.

He asked for my number, and I gave it, thinking he would never text. But as soon as I got back from the holiday, I found three texts from an unknown number—it was clearly him.

"I put up a fair fight trying to shut down his romantic advances, but seeing how insistent he was, I finally gave in. To this day, I’m happy I let him into my heart. Eight years of marriage and three kids later—how could I regret my decision?” Wanjiru says.

Though not as early as Wanjiru’s, Rick Musyimi’s successful love story began in his first year on campus. As a fresher, he was excited to start a new chapter in life. The word freedom thrilled him.

After years of curfews and strict living back home, he was finally free to do whatever he wanted. In his mind, he hoped the campus girls were ready—because he was coming to spice up his romantic life.

Getting a girlfriend was high on Musyimi’s agenda, but he never imagined that his campus relationships would lead to anything serious. He just wanted to have fun and gain romantic experience.

Nothing could have prepared him for his first campus relationship—a relationship that lasted well beyond university and is still thriving today.

Musyimi says, “Going to my first sociology class, I was nursing a hangover from the night before. With my hoodie pulled over my face, I slipped into the back seat, hoping not to be noticed. My plan was simple—sign the attendance list and sleep.

Just as I was preparing to nap, a beautiful lady walked into the class. I don’t know whether it was the sunlight on her skin or her gummy smile when she saw her friends had saved her a seat. Whatever it was, I knew right then I had fallen in love.

After class, I rushed to catch up with her and ask for her number. That was just the beginning of a coastal girl rocking my world—in the best way possible.”

However, young love doesn’t always lead to a fairytale ending. Often, young people don’t fully comprehend the real meaning of love.

When relationships are tested, many crumble under pressure. Rita Wamuyu knows this all too well.

After finishing high school, she didn’t qualify for university or college and chose to help her aunt at her mini mart as a cashier. After two weeks on the job, Wamuyu noticed a handsome man who regularly came to buy groceries.

She’d often catch him staring, but he’d quickly look away when he realised he’d been caught.

After a few weeks of this cat-and-mouse game, Wamuyu’s admirer finally got the courage to speak to her.

Their relationship began as a friendship, and within a few months, they were romantically involved. Things were so blissful that she agreed to move in with him.

Wamuyu explains, “I don’t know if the problems started because I moved in. Maybe the new dynamic strained him. A month later, he began acting cold.

The constant flirting from him stopped, and I was left trying to get a response from a brick wall. But it was the late nights that became too much. He had always been a party animal, but now he stayed out late and came home the next day.

The texts from other women that I found while snooping through his phone made me pack my bags and leave without another word. Our love story, which began out of the blue, faded just as quickly.”

Similarly, Adam Wanga’s young love fell apart when his relationship hit turbulence. The blocked contact in his phone is a constant reminder of the love he lost.

Wanga opens up, “We had been dating seriously since our third year on campus. I thought I was set for life. I had a stable job I’d held since campus, a two-bedroom house in a middle-class neighbourhood, a beautiful, drama-free girl—what more could a man ask for?

But a year after we graduated, she began to change. She no longer wanted to stay home all day watching Netflix. She got a job as a salesperson in a reputable company. I was happy for her. We didn’t need the money, but I supported her ambitions.

Little did I know she was also upgrading her romantic life. The things I used to do for her no longer meant anything. Our constant arguments eventually created a toxic environment, and I broke up with her. To this day, I wonder if I passed up my one chance at true love.”

According to relationship expert Amina Hamal, young love can thrive if both partners are willing to put in the work.

Hamal advises, “When young people start a relationship, the initial attraction is what drives them. But when differences emerge, immaturity often takes over.

If not careful, this can breed the most toxic kind of love, which will taint future relationships. But through healthy communication and a genuine desire to put in daily effort, such relationships can beautifully thrive.

And if they do, you’ll have spent most of your life growing with the love of your youth. How beautiful is that?” Hamal says.