I’ve been married for a few years now, and after living with another human for a while, you get to know them. I know my wife Sgt Sophia. I know that she’s not the greatest cook in the world, but only because she doesn’t like cooking. I also know that she really loves her job, and sometimes she takes life too seriously. Hence, my current problem.

You see, Sophia is not very fond of my jokes. Don’t get me wrong. She has a sense of humour but just not for my jokes, it seems. And I have to admit I’ve been guilty of telling some stale jokes in my time. I’ve also been guilty of trying practical jokes on my wife. Once I hid a dead spider in her towel and it didn’t go down well. For one, she almost died of a heart attack. Once she was calm, she pounded the hell out of me with her fists. I swore never to try it again.

It is with this in mind that I try to unravel a situation that has my mind in knots. Sophia left work early, saying she had a headache. Once I close the police post in the evening, I rush home to see if she’s feeling better. She is nowhere to be seen. Her father, our boss Inspector Tembo, lives a few houses down from us.

“She’s your wife, sergeant,” he barks at me. “You lose her, you find her. Don’t come asking if she’s here.”

If you sense a little resentment in his tone, you’re not mistaken. My boss is not very thrilled that I married his only child and ruined her prospective rosy future. Right now, though, I have more urgent fish to fry other than duelling verbally with my boss. I need to find my wife, who’s not answering her phone when I call.

Like the good policeman I think myself to be, I try to find clues to her disappearance. Remember, this is the second time my wife has gone missing, and the last time ended with her being wrongfully imprisoned in Shimo La Tewa Prison in Mombasa. I’m hoping this is nothing as major.

The first thing I notice right away is that none of her clothes are missing from our tiny wardrobe. This raises huge alarm bells in my head. If she didn’t take a change of clothes, it means she either left in a hurry, or she did so involuntarily. I check her personal drawer. Everything is intact, but there’s a note: “Check your suitcase.”

Now I’m panicking a little, but there’s nothing in my suitcase. I check all pockets, then begin rummaging through the clothes. At the bottom of the case, I see what, at first, I think is one of her pads. But it’s too big. Then I realise it’s a child’s diaper. Folded in it is a note: “Check under your pillow.”

I’m trying not to form any conclusions as I follow this new clue. Under the pillow is a small gadget that looks like a flimsy thermometer with a small window where the read-out would be. There’s a small plus sign in the window. No other clues or notes. Puzzled, I rush to my father-in-law with my findings.

His eyes grow large before he says, “I’d slap you if I didn’t know how stupid you can be at times. Sophia is trying to tell you she’s pregnant.”

Before I know if to be happy or sad, Sophia bursts through the door. With a huge smile on her face she says, “April Fool’s Day, stupid.”