Diary,

Remember how I told you last week that I gave room and board to a beautiful but snobbish colleague? Well, things have only gotten interesting. And not the “I taught my puppy to sit” kind of interesting.

I knew the journey had hit the first wrong turn in the Uber on the ride home from the airport. Jenny had been lamenting over the bad luck of her house flooding when she added that things would have been better if she had been married or living with a long-term partner.

Don’t get me wrong. I might be all for going it alone in this relationship journey, but if shacking up for life is your thing, go for it. But I don’t think it should be the answer to any of life’s problems.

I tell her as much and she immediately jumps into a monologue I would have expected with the same faith as a lightning strike in January. Out of the blue, is what I’m saying.

“And a man shall leave his home,” she says, “and a woman the same, and the two shall become one. It’s practically a commandment.”

I throw a look at her. “Seriously? You’re quoting the same book that says it’s okay for Israelites to acquire, inherit and own foreign slaves for life?”

She throws me back a look that suggests I belong in hell. “No, it doesn’t!”

“Leviticus 25,” I say. “And I should warn you. Getting into a biblical debate with me doesn’t usually end well. But that’s not my point. All I’m saying is, I may not support marriages, but if one was to get into one, it should be a journey, not a destination.”

“Matthew 19: ‘What, therefore, God has joined together, let no one separate.’”

I shake my head. “How does that even follow what I just said?”

Shrug. “Just saying. By opposing marriage, you’re going against God’s law.”

“Good thing I’m not a divorce lawyer then, huh?”

I meant it as a joke, but she’s less than amused. “Your negativity doesn’t stop at marriage, does it? That’s quite surprising coming from a doctor.”

I’m wondering: How did we get here? But what comes out of my mouth is, “Excuse me?”

“No other profession begs for more optimism, don’t you think? Just this morning, I said, ‘Everything is going to be all right’ to a terminal cancer patient. I doubt she has more than six months to live. But I couldn’t tell her that, now, could I?”

I smile, seeing as she’s playing right into my hands. “Feigned optimism, you mean? We all do that all the time. I can’t count the number of times I’ve told a patient, ‘This won’t hurt one bit.’”

We both laugh at that.

“Thing is, don’t you hate it when it’s applied to other things?” I add. “Imagine if a waiter brought you food into which a rat had pooped but doesn’t tell you so because he doesn’t want you to stay hungry.”

She flinches. “That doesn’t happen. Does it?”

“I mean, who knows? And it’s the same with marriage. All those ‘white lies’ couples exchange in the beginning tend to catch up later. My mate Enoch is still seething because his bride-to-be had told him, ‘I’m very financially stable,’ only for the bankers to come knocking on the door of their honeymoon suite.”

The look on her face tells me she’s done. “So what’s your point, anyway?”

“Frankly, I forget. One thing I can say for sure, though, like it or not, religion isn’t the safest place to plant the foundation of your marriage.”