Social media has been ablaze for a greater part of last week, when a mysterious Russian man posted videos of him seducing and having intimate relations with several women in Kenya and Ghana.

Rumour has it, he might have travelled to other countries in Africa, too, but the videos he released were mostly featuring women from Ghana and Kenya. These videos seem to have been taken covertly by some kind of hidden camera in his spectacles.

Out of the gate, we are going to declare the Russian a criminal for recording and distributing private recordings without consent or even the other person not knowing that they were being filmed secretly.

It doesn’t matter which part of the world he is in, secretly recording intimate moments and publishing them is a clear violation of the law, which makes him a criminal. However, what does it make the women who willingly joined him for the tête-à-tête at his abode?

There is a lot of discourse on the subject. Everyone seems to have a different opinion. I have not watched all the videos and definitely have not seen any X-rated material the Russian may have posted. I just watched a couple of videos of him approaching several women and asking for their numbers or if they could visit him in his hotel room.

Here's the catch: The man barely spoke any English, yet he was confident enough to zoom in on a target, spew some words on beauty and somehow sweep dozens of women off their feet in a matter of minutes. Which begs the question, who bears the blame?

It is no secret that people of colour from poor countries often bend over backwards for the white man. This is a subject we have discussed on this platform many times because of my very own exposure to such issues. Women of colour from poor backgrounds all over central Asia, South America and of course Africa are known to dream of marrying European, American and, more recently, even Chinese men for the possibility of moving abroad and having those darn cute biracial babies.

These were things we heard about or saw with our own eyes, but being exposed to the reality of the desperation from these women from the Meta glasses of an average Russian was a hard pill to swallow. From actual sex workers to regular women, married women and even young girls from the church.

The Russian was very smart about his choices. He would ask young-looking girls how old they were on camera and made sure to approach only women above 18 years old.

But the sadness of the reality that women would jump into bed with a white man they could barely communicate with for the possibility of being the wife or girlfriend of a foreigner cut deep. 

I was embarrassed for some of the older women who were clearly married or were doing an honest job just to be exposed in such a manner. The young woman from the congregation will probably face a harsh backlash from her mates, and her poor choices will be reflected in her future.

I have tried for many years to warn people on the dangers of ‘free stuff’. Before the scandal of Dubai Porta Potty was released, people believed you could have all the wealth the influencers did if you just worked hard.

Those of you who admire the black women married to mzungus living abroad should dig deep about the horror stories these women are living. Nothing is ever what it seems. So for the love of God, please stop putting yourselves through degrading situations just for the possibility of marrying a foreigner.