I’ve had no reason to follow the Winter Olympics, just as I have no reason to know who is currently in space. These are matters that won’t reduce the cost of food on my table, I reckon. Someone might say the same of my support for Man United, but I’ll say that’s different. That’s entertainment that gives one a mindless thing to look forward to.

But winters sports are also sports, you’d say. And you’d be right. But the thought of sliding on snow isn’t something that comes easily to a man from the equator. And why should it?

The closest we come to snow is the white stuff on Mt Kenya, and some of us have never seen it with our naked eyes. However, that lasted until I heard of this chap from France who is representing Kenya in the winter games. His name is Issa Laborde, I believe, and I learned of him from the rumour mill in the village.

“Yeye nakuja namba 66,” Dr Selitol, our resident Kenyan Mhindi tells me with pride in his eyes. Apparently, it was good enough to guarantee a place in the second round.

I know nothing about this French-born teenager representing our country in the cold games, but I know about a guy we all call Maasai because, well, he’s a Maasai and no one has ever bothered to ask his name.

Maasai is Sonko’s guard. Sonko is the richest man in Jiji Ndogo, and he feels the need to protect that status. Maasai is only ever armed with a spear. Although no one has ever tried invading Sonko’s compound, Maasai has exhibited his prowess with a spear on a few occasions when he’s been challenged to do so. And boy is he good with it. He can hit a bull’s eye from a hundred metres out.

There’s also a fella called Onyango here in Jiji Ndogo. Onyango is known for telling people that life in our village is very easy, very smooth. He says when he lived in Kisumu, he was responsible for catching the family’s meal every day.

“Samaki wa Kisumu ni werevu sana,” he says. “Ukirusa ndoano, hawaumi. Sasa, inabidi uruke ndani ya maji ukimbizane na hao.”

I can’t say for sure how true it is that Onyango used to dive into the lake and fight fish with his bare hands, but one thing’s for sure: Onyango is one hell of a swimmer. Once he’s in the water, he basically becomes a huge fish with arms and legs.

So, why am I telling you about these guys? Simple. I believe they, and many others like them, can become very accomplished Olympians.

Onyango will tell you so himself.

“Hakuna mtu anawesa sika mimi. Hata hiyo kuruka ndani ya maji ikiansa ni upusi. Na kama iko mawe huko chini? Mimi naonja na mguu kwansa. Kama maji si baridi sana, naingia pole pole. Halafu sasa nang’ang’ana na hiyo watu.”

So what if he’s a little prone to tooting his own horn? I don’t doubt for one second that he would give anyone a run for their money. Just as Maasai can throw his spear and bring home a bunch of medals.

Which reminds me… Baseball is nothing but a bunch of guys hitting balls with rungus. And we can’t do that? There’s an abundance of talent in this country that only needs tapping and good, honest management. As long as we don’t leave them stranded at the airport or sell their uniforms, Kenya can be right up there on the podium with the best of them. Onyango might ask for fish together with his medal, but it would be worth it.