Many view it as a day to celebrate their significant other, profess their affection and showcase it in the best way possible. Gift hampers, flowers, romantic dates, weekend getaways and beautifully decorated streets, malls and commercial spaces have long been part of Valentine’s Day culture.

For couples, this is often the big day to go all out. But what about the single lads and lasses? What are they up to on this day?

For many singles, Valentine’s Day is no longer a pity party because they don’t have a romantic partner. It’s more like, ”No boo? No problem.” It’s an opportunity to redefine what love means to them. Self-love is becoming a priority for many, alongside a growing focus on personal development and nurturing friendships and family relationships.

Another thing worth noting is that love knows no borders. It may be expressed in different ways, yet the underlying sentiment often feels universal across the world. In many ways, we truly are a global village, sharing similar perspectives on love.

Joan Kabura, a Kenyan in her mid-twenties living in the UK, says: “Having one day set aside to show love is such a beautiful concept and it doesn’t have to be romantic. It can be platonic or familial. But the most important thing is to show yourself love first so you can be able to pour out your love to others. And as a single lady, self-love is very important to me.”

For singles, Valentine’s Day has become less about what they lack and more about how they choose to spend it. Some opt for quiet self-care, others opt for treating themselves with a comfort meal and for some, it is a perfect day to celebrate their friendships and family.

SELF-DISCOVERY

Jemmie Saburi, a man in his early twenties living in Nairobi, has been single for the past few years, but Valentine’s Day has never been a reason for him to dwell on boredom and loneliness.

“I grew up in a home where my dad would bring my siblings, my mum and I flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day,” he says.

“In school, our teacher would also give each one of us in class a flower on the same day. Due to those experiences, I believe love is to be shared with everyone. Since I am single at the moment, I have built a culture of hanging out with my friends on Valentine’s Day to basically have lunch, bond, have a good laugh and call it a good day.”

Among Kenyans in the diaspora, the conversation around Valentine’s Day is evolving, too, as many young people navigate love, independence and personal growth away from home. Living away from familiar social circles is reshaping how singles view love during a season traditionally associated with romance.

“I am big on spoiling myself and for me, self-love looks like dressing up nicely and doing a clean face beat,” Joan Kabura says.

“I live, breathe, walk and talk fashion. It’s something I’m passionate about and showing up in style is my favourite thing to do. I don’t dress up for anyone but myself, to look good and feel good. I will also go on a solo date, have a good meal, because I have intentionally set this day apart to spend time with myself.”

Many singles are intentional about their journey of singlehood, viewing it as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. Rather than rushing into a relationship, they are focusing on understanding themselves better, developing their passions and building a solid sense of self. As psychologists often note, taking the time to work on one’s own well-being lays a stronger foundation before sharing space with someone else.

“Singlehood has taught me a lot about myself,” Kabura says.

“From who I am to what my values are, to what my negotiables and non-negotiables are, to what kind of people I want around me. It has made me so self -aware such that when the time comes for me to be in a relationship, I will offer my partner the best of me.

For those who are newly single and may find themselves caught up in societal pressure, the dating scene and Valentine’s Day expectations, the advice shared by Kabura and Saburi is to take the time to explore and understand oneself.

Self-love, while often appearing rosy on the outside, may reveal parts of yourself that are less tidy or comfortable. It is encouraged that these aspects be acknowledged, reflected upon and understood.

For it is through this process that healing takes place, the beauty in the ashes is discovered and a stronger, more authentic version of oneself emerges. On Valentine’s Day, this journey of self-love can be celebrated just as meaningfully as any romantic love.