Urban gospel singer Eko Dydda has weighed in on the complex world of fatherhood. He spoke out following recent public scrutiny of Prophet Victor Kanyari and his relationship with his children.
The singer offered a rare glimpse into the mindset of a father struggling to balance discipline with affection.
Dydda expressed deep sympathy for Kanyari. He noted that the preacher is going through a difficult time. According to Dydda, the weight of being a "father figure" is often underestimated by society.
The Fear of Failing Society
Eko Dydda explained that a father's greatest fear is seeing his child fail. This fear is not just personal; it is societal. A father feels like a failure in the eyes of the community if his child does not succeed.
This feeling persists regardless of the father’s own status. Even a wealthy or high-ranking man feels the sting of failure if his child goes astray.
A Shield of Harshness
To prevent this failure, many fathers resort to extreme strictness. Dydda described this as putting everything on the line. A true father often becomes very firm to ensure his child stays on the right path.
“ So in the process, real fathers end up being extremely strict so that the child doesn’t go wayward because he knows the world will punish the child in a way that they won’t recover,” he explained.
This strictness is often a protective measure. Fathers worry that being too friendly might lead to disaster. They fear that if they are not firm, the child might fall into crime or bad company. In their minds, they are protecting the child from a society that could "kill" them.
The Communication Gap
However, this "harshness" often has a side effect. It can create a rift between parents and children. Dydda observed that kids often drift away because they find their fathers too strict.
Because of this perceived harshness, children may stop listening to their fathers. Instead, they turn to friends, teachers, or even coaches for advice. They seek out anyone they feel understands them better than a stern parent.
Dydda concluded that most children do not realise the love behind the discipline. To the child, it looks like anger. To the father, it is a desperate attempt to save them.
