In November last year, an Oprah Winfrey podcast went viral and I found myself abandoning my chores to sit for the better part of an hour to watch the show. The subject was definitely a trendy one. Something I came across all the time as I scrolled on social media, and a trend that was unfolding in real time affecting so many families.

The video, titled ‘Oprah explores the rising trend of going no-contact with your family’, can be found under the host’s YouTube channel. Oprah had several guests and experts who were in one way or the other affected by the subject.

Different generations have handled family relations in different ways. While Gen Zs don’t give a rat’s behind about anyone else's feelings other than their own, millennials had to bite their tongue and hold off on squaring off with toxic family members because we did it for our parents and for the peace of the family. Most of us ended up choosing distance over confrontation. We end up choosing to live in far-off cities and countries and maintain very little contact with family members that irk us.

The big difference between us and Gen Zs on this matter is that they are upfront about how they feel. They will say it to your face whether you are 50 or five years old. They will prioritise their well-being and ‘mental health’ over assignments, tasks and responsibilities.

They do not put salaries or feelings first, they put themselves first. So they have no problem telling that nosy aunt that her nosiness is why her husband has a 20-year-old girlfriend. Or that her own children are living double lives from the one she knows so she needs to get off her high horse and take a seat in the corner. 

In relation to my article last week about the clashing between parents and their children, this subject is one of the many consequences of these generational clashes. Because of their zero tolerance on anything that affects them, Gen Zs are quick to cut off their parents when they don’t see eye to eye. They are quick to use terms like triggering, toxic, invasive or unsupportive. Just like that, when they do not feel like their parents see their perspective, they cut them off.

They go to the socials and weep about the lost support and lament about how they had to choose their mental health over ‘abuse’ or whatever other term will gather them sympathy. And they do get what they want, the clicks, the views, the likes, that is the world they live in. Who needs parents when a story about your horrible parents and how you survived them will earn you millions of views? Who cares about the truth as long as we can rage-bait each other into views and likes?

While there are some legitimate reasons why families break up and stay away from one another, the trendiness of the issue is a big problem for society. Oprah learnt the hard way that just because it is happening doesn't make it okay to glorify the issue. She received multiple criticisms on the way she broached the subject on her podcast. One critic went back as far as the 90s and pulled out some of Oprah’s old editorials, where she normalised cutting off family members from her own experiences, citing that she was a big contributor to the problem.

The decision for one to go no-contact or low-contact with family members is a sensitive one. It is not one to be taken lightly nor for one’s mental health. It is a decision that will shape the rest of our lives. There are regrets and consequences that we will have to live with when we take such drastic steps. It is important to remind ourselves that there are always three sides to a story, and the truth is far from what we presume to know.