In Kenya’s modern dating scene, the term “kugongeana” — loosely referring to overlapping partners or cheating — has become both normalised and debated.

While some see it as a phase of exploration, others question whether relationships built on such dynamics can ever lead to true stability.

At its core, kugongeana mirrors what psychologists define as infidelity — a violation of emotional or sexual exclusivity in a relationship ( And while it may come with thrill and discovery, research suggests it often leaves behind deeper cracks.

“It Builds Experience, Not Stability”

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Ann Wamaitha’s perspective reflects what many relationship experts argue:
“Kugongeana builds experience, si stability… stability comes from emotional maturity and loyalty.”
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Her view aligns with studies showing that cheating is often driven by unmet emotional needs, insecurity, or dissatisfaction — not long-term commitment. In fact, infidelity is widely linked to broken trust and emotional instability, making it one of the leading causes of relationship breakdowns 
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A Divided Generation

Not everyone agrees.
Esther takes a more flexible stance, saying kugongeana can, to some extent, build stability. This reflects a growing belief among some young people that “testing options” helps them understand what they truly want.
But others strongly reject that idea:
  • Iamdonnen X:“Hell no, it doesn’t.”
  • Wachira:“Never.”
Their responses echo a common concern — that relationships built in secrecy struggle to survive in the open.ALSO READ:  Is He Cheating? Moureen Ngigi Reveals This Surprising Red Flag of Infidelity

What Research Says About Cheating and Stability

Psychological studies paint a clear pattern:
  • Relationships born from cheating often struggle because they are rooted in secrecy and mistrust 
  • Infidelity creates emotional trauma and destabilises partners mentally and socially 
  • In many cases, the excitement comes from the “forbidden” nature, not a genuine emotional connection
“What sustains these relationships — secrecy — is often what destroys them.”
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The Kenyan Reality

In Kenya, kugongeana is not just a concept — it’s a lived reality. Reports suggest a significant number of people in relationships admit to cheating at least once, highlighting how common it has become 
Yet despite this, society still values loyalty. Most people desire stable, long-term relationships — even if their actions sometimes contradict that goal.

So, Does Kugongeana Lead to Stability?

The answer isn’t entirely black and white.
  • It may teach lessons — about boundaries, preferences, and self-awareness.
  • But it rarely builds trust, security, or emotional safety — the real pillars of stability.
In the end, as Ann Wamaitha puts it, stability doesn’t come from how many experiences you’ve had — it comes from how emotionally ready you are to choose one person and stay consistent.
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Final Thought

Kugongeana might evoke feelings of freedom, excitement, or even growth. But when the noise fades, one question remains:
Are you building experience… or are you building something that can actually last?