Kenyan life coach and psychologist Benjamin Zulu has issued a stark warning to women intending to marry men who earn less than them. Zulu sees such marriages as taking a highly risky gamble.

In a detailed Facebook post, Zulu argued that while some secure men can handle the income gap, the probability of such a marriage succeeding is "zero point something."

Authority and Provision

Zulu explained that many men, particularly in African and Black communities, are raised to find their authority through providing financially.

When a woman brings home more money, this foundation is often shaken. This can lead to unnecessary anger, jealousy, and competition.

“The man will be moody and sullen around the house. He stays out late more frequently. He hangs out more with his extended family or friends. Reason? He feels like he has no authority in his own home, even if you're doing everything to be respectful and submissive,” Zulu explained.

He suggests that a woman’s submission is "always on trial" when she earns more, as she is constantly suspected of being domineering.

Know Your Career Speed

The life coach advises young women to avoid serious relationships until they have started their careers. He believes it is vital to understand your own speed of financial growth before committing to a partner.

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Zulu describes the pressure to leave university with a partner as "juvenile and myopic."

He notes that a woman’s capacity—including her reasoning, execution, and networking—is often reflected in her pay. If a man cannot match this capacity, the resulting energetic difference becomes the root of the problem.

Walking on Eggshells

According to Zulu, problems typically surface about a year into the marriage or after the birth of a first child. Eventually, power struggles can turn into unwarranted rage disguised as correction.

Women in these dynamics often find themselves "walking on eggshells." Zulu claims they may be controlled, stalked, or pressured to change their style of dress and tone down their presence to soothe a partner's insecurity.

"When the money you're bringing is the one carrying the home or maintaining that standard of life, whether he's the one managing the kitty or not, it doesn't feel like a partnership to an insecure man. It feels like failure.”

The Cost of Insecurity

To manage the tension, some women try to hand over their entire salary to their husbands. Zulu claims this "calms the fire on the surface" but does not fix the underlying psychological divide.

He warns that women may eventually be forced to quit successful jobs or close businesses to focus on motherhood, simply to satisfy a husband's ego. He concludes that "marrying up" is a safer path, as the insecure type of man is more common than the secure one.