Shorn Arwa: Why I Haven't Spoken to My Brother in 5 Years

Kenyan content creator and digital personalityShorn Arwahas shared deeply personal details about her family life, revealing that she has not spoken to one of her brothers for about five years and remains estranged from several other family members.

Speaking during an interview on Lessons at 30 hosted by Dr Ofweneke, Arwa reflected on her childhood, describing a difficult relationship with one of her older brothers that continued into adulthood.

Arwa explained that she comes from a family of six children, including two older brothers. According to her, one of them appeared to resent her from an early age despite her efforts to maintain a good relationship.

“I have had an interesting relationship with one of my brothers, who just didn’t like my existence.”

A childhood marked by tension

During the interview, Arwa recalled incidents that left a lasting impression on her, including one Christmas when her brother allegedly sold her dress.

She said the two resemble each other closely and even look like identical twins, but their physical similarity never translated into a close sibling bond.

“We are like identical twins. We look alike. He didn’t like me to the point that he went and sold my dress for Christmas.” The conflict felt one-sided because she never disliked her brother. Instead, she said she admired him and often tried to get along with him, while he repeatedly found ways to upset her.

“I think it was a one-sided beef. I really liked him. Any time he would see me coming, he would find reasons to make me be annoyed, but I would never be annoyed,” she said.

She also noted that, because he was significantly older than she was, confronting him was never an option.

Choosing distance for her own well-being

We have accepted that they cannot have a friendship. “I think we made peace with the fact that we cannot be friends. We don’t even talk.”

She added that the last time they spoke was about five years ago and disclosed that she is also not in contact with several other members of her extended family.

Reaching adulthood changed how she approached difficult relationships.

“When I became an adult, I said this one will not be healthy for me,” she said, explaining that creating distance was a personal decision.

Losing both parents changed everything.

Arwaalso spoke about events that unfolded after the death of her parents, describing how the family later lost houses that had belonged to them.

She said that after their parents passed away, family members continued living in the houses until they were unexpectedly asked to leave because one of her brothers had sold the property.

“After my parents passed, we had some houses, so we were living in our houses. Then one day we were being sent out of the houses because he sold the house.”