Valentine’s Day Edition: What women really want

Leah sighed as she reached for her phone to turn off the alarm she had been snoozing for two hours. It was nearly midday on her day off in Parklands, Nairobi, the day before Valentine’s Day.

She rolled over with her phone in hand and checked Instagram—a habit she had been trying to break since the start of the year.

The reality of her singlehood hit as she scrolled past posts and stories of couples sharing their Valentine’s Day plans and gifts.

Her heart sank slightly, and she silently vowed not to follow what others were doing, fearing it would deepen her longing for a partner who reciprocated her affection.

Leah’s feelings are common. Many women share her sentiments about spending Valentine’s Day without a significant other. Some long-married women, meanwhile, find themselves reminiscing about days when romance felt alive.

Others have embraced celebrating the day with friends and family.

“I think Valentine’s Day should be celebrated with people you love, to go out and have fun,” said Tata Wendy.

Historically, Valentine’s Day was not originally about romance. It either honoured a martyr or marked the Roman festival of Lupercalia, which involved fertility and purification rituals.

By the 18th century in England, the day had become an occasion for couples to exchange flowers, confectionery, greeting cards, and love notes, evolving into the commercial and cultural celebration we know today.

“I believe Valentine’s Day is a designated day for romance, and should be marked by romantic gestures,” said Snease Mwaura.

However, Valentine’s Day is not limited to romantic love. It can celebrate all forms of love, including friendships and self-love.

“It should be a day where we all get to share and experience love. It could be platonic or romantic, but most importantly, it’s very important to spend the day pouring love onto ourselves. I’m a high believer that love should start from loving ourselves,” said Hope Nature.

Valentine’s Day often highlights gestures between couples. While traditional symbols like dinner, flowers, wine, and chocolate are popular, many women value being seen, cherished, and celebrated with intention. Data from 2026 shows that thoughtful gestures, quality time, and feeling emotionally acknowledged often matter more than luxury gifts.

Myth vs. Reality

The day has become commercialised, with marketing narratives suggesting women prefer expensive or trendy gifts. While some women may enjoy items like money bouquets, many prioritise thoughtfulness over materialism.

“It’s about the genuine thought behind the gifts—not what’s trending,” said Shania Timbwa.

Heartfelt cards, quality time, and sincere gestures often matter more than extravagant presents.

“I want a really nice gift and a thoughtful letter, flowers, plus a cute date!” said Chelsea Owiti.

Women generally appreciate emotional acknowledgement, such as love letters, dedicated conversations, and considerate gifts. Thoughtful romantic gestures—like fulfilling a long-mentioned wish—are also valued.

“Personally, I’d like some sort of candy and a steamer. In a global recession, one must be into utility gifts,” said Vanessa Cyrilla.

Quality time and shared experiences—cozy nights, adventures, or meaningful conversations—are increasingly preferred over material extravagance. Acts of service, support, and self-care also reflect the principle of “sincerity over perfection.” Reports from 2025–2026 show growing trends toward picnics, home-cooked meals, movie nights, road trips, or nature walks rather than expensive gifts.

Beyond Romance: Celebrating All Love

Some women celebrate Valentine’s Day by reclaiming it as ‘Galentine’s Day,’ embracing sisterhood. Others spend it with family, creating warm gatherings that reaffirm bonds amid busy routines.

Many choose to extend love to the community through charity, orphanage visits, food distributions, or outreach to vulnerable children and families. Others prioritise self-care, making the day a gentle ritual of renewal and appreciation. This approach highlights self-love as the foundation for all other connections.

Love on Her Own Terms

As Leah was about to continue her lazy Friday, her phone rang. It was her friend Malaika, inviting her to a Galentine’s lunch with a few other friends. Leah accepted enthusiastically. She drew back the curtains, letting the midday sun fill her room, and began choosing an outfit.

She realised she was loved and appreciated in other ways and chose to embrace the companionship of her friends for Valentine’s Day, rather than dwell on self-pity. After all, authentic love is meaningful, regardless of its form.